why blog? why blog now? .......... i woke up on wednesday; two days after ending my summer internship, and found no use in my life. so i wondered, like so wanderlust. (tadaaaaa! there it is... the point you reach in a book or movie or an album when the title actually makes sense and its actually relevant in the most obscure way.) so i wrote down what i was thinking that morning, in bed, because i'm sexy like that...
it's the month of august and my summer just lags as some of my friends admittedly become fags and now...i feel like a hag as i've lost my luster and sweet ghetto swag. no care for bronzing my body as it now is daunting me as i sleep. i have horrid nightmares of seventy plus pounds i'm surrounded by obese clowns. why in the summer do i loose my routine in the face of a break, when in reality...i have less at stake? it troubles me so when i have nothing and nowhere to go. i wake up with desire, but then sit up and can't quite conspire a reason to be. instead i lay there thinking unvirtuos things. i'm just playfully me, but unlike a much needed summer breeze... my essence is not fresh. although i must quite confess, i have some loneliness that hasn't been seen because i'm busy ma and pa, i've made a paycheck and all. however times are clever and will catch us all. as fated, we will all become dated wishing we just are sedated. our inevitable limit should not be reduced, to further non restriction of timid and fearful abuse. fully and fruitfully, i shall bear on. but if only my pride could only confide. but liberation does call as the answers... the fall, once u get in theres nothing to win. insatiable beings of long- lasting things. so quickly it may last in bringing the best fucking blast...and then it just goes as humans, we know. forget obsessive calls in answering resisting ever-nerving flaws. so the hell with my unresting aware and so conscious mind...it leaves me no time to guiltlessly wonder about shitty times. so smoking it is, and no more drinking on weeks. i am hungover and pale and feeling unnaturally stale. and what good is living if its not like life, the kind that we felt as kids so alive. what if my services are underestimated? and its actually quite easy and refreshing to some. to dumb ones, iv'e won...especially those who ponder such shit, but are too jaded and depressed because of it. I should share this joy of joyless days...and celebrate the fact that we have no say. so here's to my youth ,of seeking importance but rendering responsibilities out for ignorance. to contradict like a libertarian, as i am so pleased and at ease. and still strive to seek distinction without any fatal convictions. so flaky i go... like the mind of hoe, who wants loose ends satisfaction with the most pleasantly subtle reactions.
..and thats it, i have nothing else to say to you. please exit this way.
